What Could've Been...

It was like any other family gathering. The beach, the sunset, good food, family, pictures and lots of laughter.

As always my kids were the highlight of the party, running around jumping off of thinkings, blowing kisses, dancing around. I love our family gatherings. Whats more I love my family.

And while it began like all our family gatherings do, it ended in a much different place than it began.

Lately I've been struggling with my strong willed 3 year old. There I said it. I'm admitting it! I'm struggling. Nothing I say, nothing I do seems to get a grip on her behavior and to be honest all the jokes about the terrible threes, just make me dread this next year. Where's my sweet, loving, well behaved little girl? Where is she?! I need her back....

As we were packing up to leave, I was on my own to get the kids home and to bed. My hubby had an amazing business opportunity so he had left earlier in the evening. I instructed my daughter who is 3 going on 13 to stay on the couch and wait with her baby brother for mommy to load the car and I would return for them.

They weren't alone.

They were surrounded by family.

No reason to need me, miss me while I was gone.

Plenty of people to keep an eye on them.

As I walked out to the car I said another quick goodbye to the grandparents and cousins, who had just loaded up their van and were climbing in to head home.

It was dark. Not a lot of lights on the street with the exception of their head and tail lights.

I remember hearing my son start to cry for me, but stopped when someone picked him up. I assumed my daughter was fine, sitting on the couch waiting for my return.

As I opened the passenger car door, I hear a grandma call out to me, "Can you see her?"

Not even turning back to them, I call back, "see who?" Then it dawned on me. 

I turned. All I see is car lights, reverse lights and a little girl standing directly behind the van. This van that's ready to move.

I scream, "I see her!! Hold on, don't back up!" Then I start screaming at my daughter.

"Get back in the house, what are you thinking?" Wrong words, but they came out of panic.

This caused a rush of family to the front door. Everyone witnessing my interaction with my daughter. Not to mention others walking by on the sidewalk.

Awesome. 

My poor, now scared, little girl now runs back inside and back onto the couch where she started. Where she was told to stay. To the safety of a well lit home and family to watch out for her.

As I walked into the house I tried to reason with her and explain to her about how dangerous what she had done was. What if she had been hit? What if they had run over her and not realized it till it was too late?

What if?.... We've all been there.

I closed my eyes to take a breath and in that breath a fast forward version of what could've happened played through my mind.

Then I was reminded with a simple whisper on my heart,
"I am her protector."

Simple. But so powerful. Something I needed to hear. To be reminded of.

God is her protector.

And that's what he did. It was not coincidence that her Nana and cousins saw her run out of the house after her Mommy.

It was not coincidence that they checked before backing up the car.

It was God. It was her protector.

Tonight I'm so thankful for my little girls protector. Thankful that he was watching over her in the few moments that I was not. Eternally grateful that he was watching over her and keeping her safe.

But you better believe we are going to be having the safety talk a lot for the next few years!!