Doubt, Prayer, & Leaving it Behind

I'm having one of those nights.

A night when I'm filled with doubt.

Filled with questions. My confidence is waning. Not sure why. But it's eating at me.

The past week has been challenging, stressful, nightmarish at times. Mostly because I'm my own worst enemy, I create my own drama. I worry about things before there are even things to worry about. I'm so frustrated with myself over this. I want to snap out of it, but I feel caught in this bubble. A bubble I'm working so hard to pop. I become the worst version of myself.

Do you ever feel that way? Does anyone even know what I'm talking about?

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who struggles with these insecurities. I'm the only one who ever wonders if I'm living up to others expectations, or even my own for that matter.

I need to stop.

Shut off my computer, turn off my phone. Avoid the distractions of the world and pray. Pray that God will turn me into the woman, wife, mom that he wants me to be. I need to focus on Him, because how he sees me is all that matters. I need to look at myself through my Abba Father's eyes, not my own. Not the worlds.

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When I spend that time with my Heavenly Father I'm reminded of his blessings, I rejoice in his goodness. The cares and worries of the world fall to the side and joy fills my heart.

I need to lay how I'm feeling at his feet. Let it go, give it up. Easier said than done, but worth the struggle to let it go. After all I'm human, and I'll be honest there are times when I wrestle to let go of things. I don't know why I hold onto it, but I do.

Tonight though, I'm letting it go.

Leaving it behind.

Laying it at HIS feet.

And walking away.